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crazy for trying, & crazy for crying. yes, I am crazy for loving you.

i knew you'd love me as long as you wanted

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June 26th, 2008

Out of all the funny things that have ever happened to you, which experience still cracks you up?
My brother used to love it when I pushed him on the tire swing- one of his favorite things was for me to twist it up really high and then let go, spinning him around and around. However, one time he asked me to spin it higher and higher so that it was almost touching the branch the swing hung from. Then he begged me to give him a giant push so that he could spin faster than ever before. So I did. He flew around and around and around, his body stretched out flat like the propeller of a helicopter, screaming his head off. About halfway down, he let go, went flying into the grass, and promptly went screaming into the house. He was fine fortunately, but now has an unexplainable fear of tire swings...
If you knew it was your last day on earth, how would you spend the time?
I'd find everyone I love and spend a lazy day with them; then find all everyone I have ever hated and ask forgiveness; then spend quiet moments by myself, praying.

la vie en rose

    Sometimes, I watch the life I wish I had, or that I will have, like it has already been recorded.
    I see myself with people I know, people I knew, and people who I will soon know. I see myself going to the city, learning everything I can. I see myself under the stars, falling in love. I see myself traveling the world, speaking a hundred languages. I see my husband kissing my forehead in the morning from behind his newspaper. I see myself pregnant, walking on the shore of a stormy beach. I see myself as a mother, holding my baby in the darkest hours of the night. I see my children while they play in a wide field under the bright beautiful sky. I see them growing up, myself growing older. I see them graduating from high school, college. I see them getting married, having children of their own. I see myself as a grandmother, teaching my grandchildren to sew and plant flowers while telling stories of my childhood. I see myself sitting in an English garden with my husband, and the two of us growing old with each quiet day.
I never watch myself die. I always watch myself live. But I realized, I spend too much time dreaming up my future, rather than living it. Cliché as it sounds, the future is now. Now is the time to start living life.


I thought I saw the sunlight
But it was only a firefly.
I thought I swam in the ocean
But it was only a puddle.
I thought I climbed a mountain
But it was only a hill.
I thought I touched the stars
But they’re really only holes
In the curtain of the sky.
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